You Don’t Have to Have All the Answers

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in this field is this: you don’t have to have all the answers to be a good counselor.

And honestly, that can be a hard lesson to accept.

There’s a pressure - especially early on - to feel like you should know exactly what to say in every situation. That you should be able to fix things, guide things, or provide the “right” response every time a student opens up to you.

But the reality is, this work doesn’t always work that way.

Students don’t come into our offices with simple, clear problems that have easy solutions. They come in with layered experiences, big emotions, and situations that don’t always have a quick fix.

And in those moments, trying to have all the answers can actually get in the way.

I’ve had so many times where I’ve thought, “I don’t know exactly what to say right now.” But instead of filling the silence or rushing to a solution, I’ve learned to lean into presence.

To say things like: “I’m really glad you told me.” “That sounds really hard.” “I’m here with you.”

And more often than not, that’s what the student needed.

They weren’t looking for a perfect answer. They were looking for someone who would listen, who wouldn’t judge, and who wouldn’t rush them out of what they were feeling.

There’s something really powerful about being okay with not knowing - and still showing up fully.

Because it takes the pressure off of “fixing” and shifts the focus back to connection.

And connection is what creates change.

So no, we don’t have to have all the answers.

We just have to be willing to sit in the dirt, stay present, and walk alongside our students as they figure things out.