The Calls We Don’t Talk About Enough

There are some parts of school counseling that don’t get talked about enough.

For me, it’s the number of times I’ve had to call crisis.

It’s not something you expect when you think about working in an elementary school. When people picture this role, they often think of small groups, classroom lessons, maybe helping students work through friendship issues. And while those things are absolutely part of the job, there’s another side that feels much heavier - and much more urgent.

We are seeing younger and younger students struggling with intense emotions, overwhelming stress, and thoughts they don’t know how to carry.

And each time it happens, it stays with you.

There’s a weight to sitting with a child in that moment. Trying to stay grounded while your mind is racing. Asking the right questions. Keeping your voice calm. Making the call. Hoping you’re doing exactly what that student needs, even when everything feels uncertain.

This is what “sitting in the dirt” can look like at its heaviest.

It’s being fully present in a moment that is messy, scary, and deeply human - and choosing not to look away.

But what we don’t always talk about is what happens after.

After the student leaves. After the call is made. After the immediate crisis is handled.

That weight doesn’t just disappear.

And if we’re not intentional, it starts to build.

I’ve had to learn that being there for students in those moments does not mean carrying everything by myself afterward. Professional sustainability in this field isn’t about doing less or caring less - it’s about learning how to hold this work in a way that doesn’t slowly wear you down.

For me, that has meant being more intentional about how I take care of myself. It looks like debriefing with trusted colleagues instead of keeping everything inside. It looks like giving myself permission to step away for a few minutes and reset before jumping into the next thing. It looks like acknowledging that what just happened was heavy, instead of minimizing it and pushing through.

Because the truth is, we are in the middle of a mental health crisis.

And school counselors are often on the front lines of it.

Which means if we want to keep showing up for students in the way they deserve, we have to take care of the people doing the work, too.

Students need someone who will sit in the dirt with them. Someone who won’t rush them, fix them, or leave when things get hard.

But we can’t do that long-term if we’re running on empty.

Sustainability in this field means learning how to stay present in those heavy moments - without losing ourselves in them.